My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
Bind them always on your heart; fasten them around your neck.
When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you.
For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life, keeping you from your neighbor’s wife, from the smooth talk of a wayward woman.
Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.
For a prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread, but another man’s wife preys on your very life.
Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?
Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?
So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.
People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.
Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house.
But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself.
Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away. (Proverbs 6:20-33 NIV)
Is fire good? You know that really hot burning thing… Is fire good? Of course it is! Fire is essential to human life. We forget that because technology hides the fire from us today. We need fire for warmth and to cook and for power. Human beings need fire to survive. Fire is good! But would people in the Texas panhandle say that? Or people who’ve lost their home in a fire? Or people who’ve been burned in an accident? Fire, when used improperly, is one of the most destructive things on the planet. Have you ever thought about this? Fire is a gift from God and absolutely essential to life, and fire is one of the most dangerous things in the world. Both.
Like sex. We could make a lot of connections between sex and fire. Is sex good? Of course it is! Sex is essential to human life. God created people male and female. That wasn’t a mistake. That was God’s plan all along. Sexual relations are a blessing from God to create human life and draw a husband and wife closer together. Sex is good! But that good thing, when used improperly, is one of the most destructive things in the world. Adultery destroys families and marriages. Sexual abuse leaves life-long physical and emotional scars. Sex is a gift from God and absolutely essential for life, and sex is one of the most dangerous and destructive things in the world. Both.
So the Bible has a lot to say about it, especially in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs was written to teach young men how to be wise. If a young man was going to be wise, perhaps more than anything else, he needed to learn how to use sex wisely. Because that wisdom doesn’t come to us naturally. You can’t learn the truth about sex from your feelings or emotions. We need God and God’s representatives to teach us wisdom: “My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” Proverbs is filled with wisdom when it comes to sex.
Here’s where it starts: With lust. “Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.” If sex is like fire, where does that fire start? With lust. You know how fire works. Once it gets started, it’s really hard to put out. One downed powerline can spark a fire that burns a million acres. A little spark can lead to devastation. Just like lust. Once it gets started, it’s really hard to put out. So “do not lust in your heart…” Jesus said, “I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Lust is just as sinful as adultery. Watch out! A spark can set the world on fire.
Hearing Proverbs and Jesus talk like this is a reminder that sexual temptation is nothing new. Proverbs says, “A prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread.” That’s quite a statement! Some women in the ancient world were in such need that all you had to do was give them food and they’d sleep with you. What a temptation! Today? It’s free. Pornography is everywhere. Explicit scenes fill TV shows and movies. There’s sex everywhere. Even on your phone in your pocket.
In this distorted world, we need to constantly remember God’s plan. God’s plans are best, right? In God’s plan, how many women would a man see naked in his whole life? Just one. Whom? His wife. So that in their marriage, there would be no comparing, no judging, just the two of them. In God’s plan, how many men would a woman see naked in her whole life? Just one. Whom? Her husband. That’s a good plan! Sex is a God’s special gift for marriage. Except, the latest stats say that 64% of Christian men view porn at least once a month. That’s 2/3 of us. 18% of Christian women do the same. Sex isn’t special. It’s cheap. Lust is burning in us and around us like a fire.
And it’s easy to think, “I’m not hurting anybody.” How foolish! Listen to the Bible: “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?” Can he? Of course not! “Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?” Can he? Of course not! Watch out! When you or I let lust burn in our hearts and minds, it’s just as foolish as sitting next to a campfire and shoveling hot coals onto your lap. Maybe it won’t hurt for about five seconds. Then it will burn! It’s not hard to see that lust is dangerous, but it’s really had to stop it. It’s hard to address it.
Until it’s too late. Our lesson says, “People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving…” We can understand when a hungry person steals. It’s wrong. They will have to pay the price, but we get it. “But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away.” Isn’t that the truth? It’s hard to think of a sin as foolish and dangerous as lust. It destroys lives and destroys faith and leads to disgrace and shame that will never be wiped away. Don’t be fooled. Be wise! Like fire, sex is a beautiful blessing from God that can cause great destruction.
I bet you know that. Maybe for you all this seems like it’s too late. Maybe you’ve learned all this by experience. “His shame will never be wiped away.” Now what? Well, remember who most frequently gathered around Jesus? The “sinners.” Especially which sinners? Tax collectors and prostitutes. Why? Jesus offered something that no one else in the world did: True forgiveness. Jesus came for the lost. He came for sinners. If you’ve struggled with lust, gather around Jesus.
Because Jesus came to take your shame away. When it really hits you, nothing makes you feel more dirty than sexual sin. It can feel like you’ll never be clean again. But that’s not true. Which sins did Jesus die for on the cross? The sins of the whole world. Which sins does baptism wash away? All of them. There’s a verse in the Bible that talks about sexual sins, and then it says, “That is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:9). Do you understand what that means? “You were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” You’ve been washed. Forgiven!
Like David in the Bible. The most famous luster in the Bible is David. He saw a naked woman, lusted after her, slept with her, and then killed her husband to make her his wife. Talk about a spark turning into a devastating fire! Psalm 32 tells us all about it. When he refused to repent, David says, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long” (Psalm 32:3.) But then he said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD. And you forgave the guilt of my sin” (Psalm 32:5). So he wrote: “Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered” (Psalm 32:1). There is forgiveness for your lust at Jesus’ cross.
You have a new life in Christ. What might that look like? If you’re married, it means this: Keep the fire burning just between the two of you. God wants you too! Maybe you say, “But I don’t struggle with lust.” I bet your spouse does. Do you know what tempts him or her? You should. If the fire of sex is a special blessing for a married couple, it means it takes two people committed to cultivating intimacy with each other. That’s a good thing! Whether you struggle with lust or not, how can you help your spouse stay faithful to you and God? Keep the fire burning.
Maybe you’re not married. That’s good too! Just realize that lust can be just as dangerous for you. Don’t buy into the thought that as long as you’re not married, you’re free to do whatever you want. I’ll never forget the time I counseled a young man who had saved himself for marriage, but his girlfriend hadn’t. It was so painful for him to think that if they got married, he would only know her, but she would have all these other guys on her mind. Lust and sex outside marriage hurt everybody. I don’t know what your future holds, but I know that God’s plan for sex is best. If God hasn’t given you a spouse, stay chaste. Be careful not to spark a fire.
But how do you recover from what’s been done? I want you to know about two resources that are available in our Wisconsin Synod (WELS). First, there are resources available for survivors of sexual abuse. There’s a website called “Freedom for Captives.” You can find it at freedomforcaptives.com. If someone’s lust has led to abuse and pain and hurt, know that Jesus loves you. Know that people care about you. Know that that person’s sins against you don’t define you. There is hope and help and support for you. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.
And if you’re that person who’s struggling with lust, there is help for you too. It’s called “Conquerors through Christ.” You can find it at conquerorsthroughchrist.net. There are tons of resources for people struggling with porn use or addiction. Conquerors through Christ lays out a five-step plan for recovering from pornography. 1) Get Real about the Wreckage. Confess your sin and its destruction. 2) Get Back to God’s Grace. Find forgiveness in Jesus and his grace. 3) Get Rid of Porn. Cut off all access to that temptation. 4) Get Accountable to Others. Make yourself accountable to other people. 5) Get Ready for Battle. Realize that battling sin is never done until we get to heaven. Lust is a big deal. But there’s hope! Reach out and get help.
Because Jesus loves you. No matter your past, Jesus loves you! There’s a story in the Gospel of John in which a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery was brought to Jesus. Remember this? The Pharisees asked Jesus if they should stone her. That’s really what she deserved. Sin is that serious! Remember what Jesus said? “Let anyone of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone” (John 8:7). What happened? They all went away, one by one. Then Jesus said to that woman caught in lust and adultery: “Then neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin.” What a Savior we have! “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). Go now and leave your life of sin!
(To listen to this sermon on my Upside-Down Savior podcast, please click HERE. To watch this sermon on my Upside-Down Savior YouTube channel, please click on the link below.)
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